There is a lot to talk about when it comes to relationships today. Gone are the days of true love. Gone are the days when people were truly understanding, caring and loving. Gone are the days when people would sacrifice everything for the person they love. Taking the past, for instance, I know then love was true and pure. Such love is very hard to find these days. Some even say that “true love” can only be found in books and movies. And, yeah, I will say somehow they are right.
Long ago, people used to break up due to family pressure or social class issues. Then, fear of commitment became one of the main reasons for relationship break-ups. However, these days people are terminating their relationships because they’ve fallen out of love.
Love is a very strong emotion. Let alone love, even if it was a genuine feeling, it would have stayed with you, right there in the soft corner of your heart. It wouldn’t have made you break up with the person you care about the most.
So, there must be something wrong with the whole concept of “falling out of love.” Let’s find out!
It Wasn’t Love
I always thought infatuation was a part of love and I thought they’d complement each other until I experienced both and discovered that they could not coexist. There are far too many people who are convinced that they are in love with someone just because that “someone” looks and feels perfect and they can’t stop thinking about them. But, the truth is, most of the time, the intensity that comes with really liking someone is not love –it’s infatuation.
Infatuation usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship when sexual attraction is central. For instance, you see this guy/lady on Facebook; you don’t have any idea about them or where they are from, but all you care about is how hot and sexy they look. You are so much in love with their pictures that you want to have a chat with them. You will then go on coffee dates, have many romantic candlelight dinners and get intimate very quickly. But, eventually, once all the excitement fades, the relationship will go end up on the way.
You see, infatuation can happen quickly but true love will take time.
You Didn’t Fall in Love With a Person, but an Idea
Love doesn’t come with terms and conditions and if it does, well, it isn’t love.
Love and attraction –not only physical – are two different faces of a coin and people often tend to get confused between these two.
Everyone has their own ideal partner preferences but sometimes instead of falling for the person, we fall for these “preferences.” I’d like to take the answer of an anonymous writer on Quora as an example.
“There was a guy in my university. He had a strong preference for strong, courageous, bold and highly extrovert girls. One day, he saw me on stage talking and debating. After attending several of my public debates, he saw me as his ideal type. So, he asked me out and I said yes. I was so happy, he was my first boyfriend. But, after spending some time with me, he realized that there was another part of me that was vulnerable. I may be strong on the outside but my weakness is I tend to cry a lot and he didn’t like that. After a while, he said we have different perception about certain things and this relationship won’t work. I knew the real reason. It broke my heart but he never loved me. I think he was more infatuated to my personality attributes which don’t make me hundred percent who I am.”
